Tuesday, April 6, 2010
letting go
Today is April 6th and it is my last full day in Hilo, Hawaii. Lela Elaine Lehua came into this world and into our hearts on April 1st at 4:58pm, weighing 8lbs 11oz 21inches long. She is truly beautiful and one of the calmest babies I have ever seen. I don't want to ever leave her, let alone be separated by the Pacific Ocean and most of the United States. I keep trying to not think about missing put on her life but those thoughts creep relentlessly into my subconscious. I never knew any of my grandmothers and can only think about the special relationship my own children had with their Granny. Heather doesn't have internet access so my ability to see her grow and change will be limited to snapshots taken with a BlackBerry. I am reminded that this is the case for many grandparents but it doesn't make my heart any less heavy.
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We met on the plan on the way to Hawaii to meet our new granddaughters. I'm so glad all went well even though a little later than you expected. I hear you on how hard it is to leave them....I want them to know me well and when they are so little, you just feel "how will they ever get to know me and remember me". I can tell you that since some of mine are older now, it really does happen and they always seem so happy to see me. The first few months/years of that are hardest. Chally, our new one from Ethiopia couldn't even say anything in English when I was there (she's 19 months old). I did try to teach her 'grandma' though! Now two weeks later, I read that she is saying 'Hi' to everyone and waving. So let me know when you're ready to head back...I'll see if I can get on the flight with you again! It certainly made the time go so much quicker.
ReplyDeleteIt is so good to hear from you! I feel like I've neglected a lot of things since I got back, but I'm determined to get back with this blog. I thought of you a lot while I was in Hawaii and wondered how you dealt with them being so far away. I love the pictures you've put on Facebook- you have adorable grandchildren!
ReplyDeleteYou have inspired me to 'blog on'! I keep ruminating about what is blogworthy and what a cool name would be for my blog. I too was inspired by Julie and Julia, and had long ago thought about cooking my way through Cooking Light magazines! I love that mag. Anyway, I'm also having trouble coming up with a name for the puppy I'm getting on Friday....maybe I'll blog about being a puppy mom! I think I'm trying to fill a void left by the grandchildren, you think??
ReplyDeleteFunny you should ask, my kids always said that everytime one of them moved out we got a new dog! I say not true, we only have 3 dogs, 1 cat. We had 5 kids so the math doesn't add up. I saw the pic of the new puppy, too cute. Is it a boy or girl? Have you had a chance to read some of my older postings? Do the blog- I think you'll love it.
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